What I Said Was

WE HAVE MOVED

2006-02-13T21:28:00.000-06:00

This blog is no longer functioning. See us at www.zekestreet.com

Credit Card Whores

2005-12-13T19:44:00.000-06:00

Lunch. It's a pretty simple thing. You go into a local sandwich shop, order, pay and eat. While eating, an exchange of witty banter or just general chit chat is expected. It started out as that, just Lunch. Then it turned ugly on that fateful day. Two females, dressed as tightly as clothes will allow, scampered in with a laptop, a couple of Blackberry PDAs and cleavage. Oh, and there were TShirts too. Four young college men (used loosely) followed close in tow. They were dates? No, too much stuff. Ah. The answer rose to light as I overheard them say just fill out this form and get your free TShirt. Your card will arrive in 2-4 weeks. WAIT!! STOP!! I wanted to scream. Then the skankdevil (new word I am trying out) turned and pointed at Em and myself and speaking to the counter help said, "I would like to set up over there but I figured I'd let them finish eating first." Oh no you did not! Em said something unlike her. I giggled a bit and then started the muttering. The muttering bcame louder as I heard the obvious leader of the Nineteens ask if he could pay off his already acquired credit card debt. Ok, to boil it all down, Why oh Why do we sell our credit rating off for a TShirt? Why do all credit hagglers look like Jamie Pressly? On drugs. My best answer? To take your mind off your credit rating. Americans will do anything for free crap. I could tell 25 Nineteens that if they would staple their hand I would give them $20 and most of them would after the first of them did it. Idiots. Wome are not immune either. Whoever told the first woman that ug boots and denim mini skirts looked good together convinced a bunch more female Nineteens and some older ones that it looks great. LIARS!!! I beg of you all, please dear God, stop the madness. Look in a mirror or see through the Mary Kay of that person and realize they are leading you poor lemming. Leading you to the cliff of immortal idiocy. Good Luck.

Pondering

2005-10-13T23:36:00.000-05:00

I've been away from here for a bit. It's not that I havent thought about my little journal which 4 people in the world read. I just have had to take some time to think. I have the opportunity to open a new website, my fourth in 6 years, and really draw attention to things a bit more than my cubby hole in cyberspace does now. At the same time, I have never been a trailblazer so to speak. The uncomfortableness change brings sometimes cinges me a little too closely. I have been pondering. Thinking about what to do. The cost of the website isnt an issue. The content is the issue. I need to have a platform. Whether it be news and notes from my boring little world or celestial tidbits and the like, either way, it needs consistency. Some genre of thought. I might be in and out over the next few days, just figured I owed all of you an explanation or something like one.

-C

Touching Heaven

2005-09-29T23:12:00.000-05:00

This is a fair warning. This post is not intended to offend but merely raise questions about things and to ask why?

I went to a funeral today. Interestingly enough, I struggle more with my religious indoctrination at funerals than anywhere else. That's what pulls at my heart today. The church where the Home Going Celebration was held is called the People's Choice Assembly. Not -of God or Lutheran Episcipalion or Latter Day anything. Just a community church. But not JUST a community church. One that knows God. And knows heaven. I was there today. Both at church and heaven. So was God.

The service or celebration was for a 34 year old woman who died very suddenly from cancer. Doctors said months, it was more like hours. The reason I went isn't important because I think God wanted me there. He wanted me to ask some questions. He wanted me to answer my own questions and be uncomfortable in my own skin, if only for a couple of hours.

The preacher started with some scriptures, some kind words and informed us all, it was a Home Going Celebration. Not a sad day but a glad day. I had heard it before and my coldness inside stayed untouched. After a few more words from various people and a prayer, God pulled the blinds on my reality. Opened them all the way up, not just turned the louvres but pulled the string hard. The choir and small three piece band started to praise. Loud, proud and happy don't do the notes justice. The choir were angels. Clapping, almost dancing and so energized and happy. I got caught up. The emotion couldn't be explained away. How do dear friends of the newly delivered sing with such smiles and joy if not sincere? This wasn't show boating. This wasnt grand standing. This was a family of believers thanking God and singing to their friend who now waits on them. And then my synicism kicked in. Was this right? Was it wrong? Oh my goodness, what NOW? My stoic C of C roots were ripping up from the soil as I sat and watched my foot start to tap and my heart start to lift. This sounds more like heaven to me. These notes, the joy, that is heaven, standing at the gate, I was amazed. How can you not feel betrayed? Heaven is not going to be streets of berber carpet and quiet time all day like some church camps want you to think. If a multitude in the millions gather at the biggest barbecue since the Prodigal Son, are they all going to keep it down to inside voices? NO! Dancing, singing, praising, instruments, the whole nine will be there. I'm going to play a bit of guitar and maybe try my hand at tambourine. I'm going to talk and walk with all my buddies and then wait in line to talk to Jesus just to say thanks.

I think the devil lives in our traditions. I know it sounds like blasphemy or whatever evil words you want to call it but I promise you, Jesus does not put that uncomfortable feeling in my stomach when someone raises their hands in church. Jesus doesn't whisper bad thoughts into my ear when someone says Thank You Jesus. My traditions do. Not my parents or family but my unwillingness to throw open those blinds, to really dig deep and find out for me what heaven is. If you dont like my heaven, I hope yours is more fun than the one I thought I was going too. If heaven is like church camp, I'll take my chances somewhere else. I'm going to be happy when I see Jesus and if you know me at all, you better beleive I'll be guitar in hand and singing as happy as a lark. God pulled the blinds up today. I think it was a message. I know it was a message. The people at People's Choice Assembly know God. Abba if you will. They showed me Him today and for that, thank you Ursula and thank you Jesus.

I Found Him or....

2005-09-17T22:09:00.000-05:00

Well really he found me. It has been a few months since I talked with AA but last night he found me. US Probationary Official blah blah blah that he is( sorry I dont know the title) he tracked me down. I have been trying to find him but whitepages dot com sucks. No other way to put it. If your looking for who had your phone number before you, you might have better luck. Chances are it still lists them as the current holder of the number. But true enough, he tracked me down, talked fishing for a bit, planned a loose date of late October to do something and said goodnight. I equate it to the Prodigal Friend. Only I'm not quite sure why. More than anything just a happy reunion. Much BBQ and fishing to be had later. He reminded me of a time when we were not so bright and went wade fishing with bait in the pockets of our swim trunks. We caught a lot of fish but in hind sight should have been shark bitten. STUPID STUPID BOYS. Now days we are more careful. Sort of. He asked me to go wading under a bridge somewhere in the ocean to catch fish. Maybe we're not much smarter. Point being, Im glad I have my long lost buddy back. Fish Beware!

What Are The Odds

2005-09-11T21:35:00.000-05:00

I mean honestly what are the odds? I was driving home from work tonight and I heard the scores of the NFL games today. I think Jesus is coming soon. Morning, night or Monday Night Football, I think he's coming. And soon. Any time the Detroit Lions, a 9 point dog, keeps the Packer offense to just 3 points and the San Francisco 49ers win a game and the Colts are held to just 3 points in the first half, something weird and wild is going on. Ok maybe not Jesus but the evolution of the salary cap for certain. For years its been the ongoing opinion that the NFL does it right.

At least compared to MLB, NHL and the NBA. Any year Stromile Swift can make as much money as Jeff Bagwell is a bad bad thing. Guaranteed money is stupid and flexible salary caps are too. Penalties for going over the cap dont penalize the teams who are doing it because they can afford it. Overpaid hockey players gripe so much they lose a years pay and it doesnt hurt. Thats how you know they get paid too much.

Football has it right. You play, you get paid. Spread the wealth. Thats the only way the Packers will ever be in the Super Bowl and the main reason the Expos (read Nationals) are not, nor will they be. Take a hint you panzies.
Take a pay cut Kobe and Sammy and Someguy Who Plays Hockey Whose Name I Dont Know Because I Hate the Sport So Much.
You have a billion trillion dollars right now, which you probably spent on steroids, lawsuits and whatever Someguy claims to lust for. Probably snow cones. Take a cut and do the right thing. Or your league should just do it for you. I bet if the NBA enforced a solid cap that there wouldnt be enough teams to pay the players currently in the league. I think I'll do some research. To Be Continued.....

Zeke Pics are Here!

2005-09-08T23:43:00.000-05:00

Coming Soon in This Spot

2005-09-07T20:22:00.000-05:00

More Zeke pics as requested coming tomorrow. Watch this space.

Gasoline is Cheap

2005-09-05T22:18:00.000-05:00

I've been complaining and then the math hit me.

Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ..... $10.32 per gallon

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..... $9.52 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ..... $10.00 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ..... $33.60 per gallon

Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ..... $178.13 per gallon

Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 ..... $123.20 per gallon

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ..... $25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 ..... $84.48 per gallon

Wow. Glad my car doesnt run on Pepto!

Closed For Labor Day

2005-09-04T23:49:00.000-05:00

On Vacation for Monday. Be back Tuesday.

-Chris

Katrina Chaos

2005-09-02T23:10:00.000-05:00

With all the refugee movement into Texas, we here in the eastern portion of Texas have found ourselves in an interesting situation. People living more than 8 hours away just mere days ago are now neighbors and friends seeking anything we can give. I am proud to say my company, Best Buy, is helping in many ways. On the corporate level we have given a million dollars to the Red Cross. We are also selling dollar donations which will also be matched next week. An expected 3-6 million dollars will be donated in total by our corporate level. On a local level, we are preparing. My store is offering open arms to BBY employees seeking refuge through the Christmas season. We have limited openings but more money is being routed down to us for those extra spots. We expect 10 to 20 new employees next week. We are also holding a raffle, bake sale and can good drive for the Texas refugees in Houston and Dallas ( and soon to be Austin, San Antonio and Belton). All money and canned goods goes straight to the people. I like being part of a company that cares on every level. Bringing it closer to home, 7 immediate family members of employees in Store 182 are still unaccounted for. 13 at best count have been contacted and are in good spirits considering. Prayers for the Clark family would be greatly appreciated. Also, Matt, my brother in law (read brother), is asking for prayers and guidance as his church North Davis, is receiving 200 people tomorrow. Please send all donations to a local church or the Red Cross. If you are near a Best Buy, go drop a buck to help out. Hopefully Texas will be a suitable home for these new friends and the transition will be as painless as possible. Prayers going out---

Chris

A Couple of Congratulations

2005-09-01T01:29:00.000-05:00

Since I havent heard from them in a while, I wanted to give the Congratulatory Shout Out to Lori and Britney. Lori is getting married this weekend to a guy I've never met but have heard great things about. Anyone who can keep her attention this long has got to be golden. And Brit at last word was getting married the 10th. Must be something about Colorado people and September weddings! Congrats ladies and I expect some email when you get back from Hawaii or Spain or wherever the heck you guys are going.

Pettiness and Retail

2005-09-01T00:36:00.000-05:00

I wanted to scream at a lady today. Honestly I was about two seconds away from doing it. Luckily my training kicked in and I didnt. She called me on the phone and explained her problem. She had purchased a camera 18 to 24 months ago and didnt have the receipt any more. With said purchase she also bought a $25 card to use on an online photo center called Shutterfly that the BBY used to be affiliated with. The card had not been used as of yet and was expiring today. Or so she says. She then tells me I should give her a free card to our new service ImageLab because its her RIGHT to use the card whenever she wants and cant help it we are no longer affiliated with them.

#1. Our return policy is 30 days on most items. All others are 14 days. Not 548 days.

#2. The fact that we dont carry it AND you dont have a receipt only complicates the situation.

#3. I dont have a $25 card for ImageLab. I have a $20 card.

I explained these points to her and she grew even more fierce. (Read B*TCHY)
She blames me for everything short of the war and then says she wants to speak to a manager. I said I was one and she cursed and said get me another one. Wrong move.

Initiate kill them with kindness. (My secret is, if I can get them in the store....wait I cant say or it wouldnt be a secret).

She comes into the store and hands me the card. Its says good until August 31, 2005.
Oops. First wrong move. It expired yesterday. No wonder it wouldnt work. Second , she barked at me again. Blame games only work on spineless weiners. That ma'am I am not.
Then it happened. I said I would see what I could do. Long story short, after another manager (one above me) explained to her the situation and the way we conduct our business, she apologized and left with nothing. Figures. I spent 3 hours dealing with a knucklehead over five dollars. Welcome to retail.

Baby Gut

2005-08-31T00:23:00.000-05:00

I think I'm getting fat. I know, i know. No you're not blah blah blah. Well save the loved ones speak. Spare me the excuses etc. I had one of my employees, dim as their lightbulb may be, call me out tonight. I was standing kind of sway backed when she pats my tummy and says, "Somebodys pregnant". Holy freak! I think I might have said something but it was actually kind of funny. That is until I started thinking about it later. I dont want to be the fat guy. I've been the skinny one for so long, I dont want to have to relearn the rules. I have already declared jihad on fast food. I have cut back from 4 or 5 times a week to maybe once if you exclude Jason's Deli. I have been taking healthy lunches to work and so on. With that said, Fatty Magoo will start working out tomorrow. Yes, its been said before but it has to happen now. I fear the baby gut will haunt me for years if I dont belittle it now. I have been walking a lot more as of late. Now its time to step it up. I will finish destroying my running shoes which have never lived up to their potential and startt the jog-walk pattern tomorrow. I'd do it now but its pretty late. Here's hoping it all works out. Hehe.

Homage to Skippy

2005-08-29T23:52:00.000-05:00

I thought about linking this page but it seriously would not have done it justice. My apologies to Skippy but I think he would appreciate the press. I almost peed myself laughing so hard at some of these. I am only posting the first 60 for time and space. There are 213 total.

Explanations of these events:

a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz...what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? "Um....a rubber sheep...I can explain why that's there....")

To explain how I've stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly..... I'm funny, so they let me live.
The 213 Things....

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.

2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia".

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.

9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on government time.

11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.

12. Not allowed to join any militia.

13. Not allowed to form any militia.

14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.

15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!”

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.

17. God may not contradict any of my orders.

18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.

20. Must not taunt the French any more.

21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.

24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.

25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.

26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!”

27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).

28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker”)

36. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.

38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.

39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

40. I do not have super-powers.

41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message.

42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.

43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

44. I am not the atheist chaplain.

45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy's little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.

46. I am not authorized to fire officers.

47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.

48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”.

50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.

51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations.

52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range.

53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

55. An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does *not* involve fruit.

56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape.

57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”

58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.

60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command.

Nothing

2005-08-27T22:39:00.000-05:00

I really dont have just a whole lot to share tonight. A potentially stressful situation at work turned out to be pleasant so my rage and anger posts (which have actually been quite few since Dec15-04) will have to wait yet another day. Baseball is winding down and football is starting up and I fear I will miss the completion of both with my work schedule. Is there Tivo for people without Cable? I think its probably in the form of some computer gadget I sell but dont want to spend the money for. I dont have any big plans for the holiday weekend next week (which my brain keeps telling me is this week). I might catch a movie on Friday but I might also sleep some more. I think my age is starting to show. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. I've always looked younger than I was but now I think the fulcrum has seen a tilt the other direction. Who knows. At this point I have more important things to worry about. At least more sane and sensible.
----C

Is Anyone Actually Reading This?

2005-08-27T01:02:00.000-05:00

I type and I type. I think most of you guys had given up hope on me. Well, FYI, I have been blogging almost religiously now for the past few days and fully intend on keeping it up. I found this cool thing called ShoutCast from Winamp that allows me to watch THE FAMILY GUY streaming all day long. For you technically challenged out there, its like tv with no commercials on my computer. For free. I like it muy muy much. GrifTV is what its called. Check it out. (Not dial up friendly) I also hope you guys have noticed something to the right over there ---> Its a BDAY wishlist. You can either send me the cash or just send it to me all nice and shiny. Chances are I'll get 4 billion bead head nymphs. So until tomorrow- Same Bat Time Blah Blah Blah----

I Watch Movies

2005-08-26T01:07:00.000-05:00

SEE LINK ABOVE

After the $$$ comment in my last post I got to thinking, " What movies have I not seen that the public, through ticket sales in the USA, deem worthy?" Of the top 100 movies, I havent seen #46 and #68. In the next 100 #151 and #167. Thats it. I didnt keep going but holy moly! I didnt even realize I have seen more than 200 movies. Then I kept going just for giggles and grins. From 201 to 335 there are nine movies I haven't seen. That's the entire list. Of 335, I havent seen 13 movies. At an average of $4 ( between theaters, rentals and cable)thats well over $1200 I have spent on just movies. Not to mention endless Dr. Pepper and Popcorn. I keep thinking I might take up reading but that takes several days and costs $15 a pop. Think I'll wait for the movie.

Alien Invasion

2005-08-25T00:10:00.000-05:00

I broke down and saw War of the Worlds this summer. Pretty good. Dakota Fanning was brilliant as always though more screaming and less smart alec this time. Tom Cruise was decent and Tim Robbins was amazing. I thought to myself after I saw it, ok, I have had my alien movie for the year. And since I dont watch LOST I also figured it would be next 4th of July before something ET crept my way. Then it happened. Network execs around the US got wise to $$$ that aliens were making and usually do make (see War of the Worlds, ET, Independence Day, Men in Black etc etc) and figured, why not put this $$$ into our pockets? And thus, as if assignments were handed out at NYU film school, three (3) new alien TV shows, (one per network, though ABC now has 2)are joining us this fall. Threshold on CBS, Invasion on ABC and Surface on NBC. I can only express disgust that all original thought has left the networks. Need proof? Try to find one night without a reality show on one of the major networks. I bet you a Canadian Nickle that Fox has a reality show about discovering, living with or eating aliens before Christmas. Then the WB will do their best to write an ET into the Gilmore Girls or Smallville (though one could argue CK is an alien). You know what? I might watch Surface for a couple of times if I am home but dont count on me getting a Tivo for it.

So Who Would It Be?

2005-08-23T21:25:00.000-05:00

I had a recurrence of a memory tonight. I was watching the show HOUSE on Fox. The premise is a hospital that doesn't always conform. More like a doctor who doesn't conform. His name is HOUSE. During this particular episode, a woman who had a terminal illness was pregnant and it came down to the husband having to decide who it would be that would live--- his soon to be son or his beloved wife. At first he chose his wife. I had to agree. I even talked to Emily about it. What was going through my head was something Dana Rector said when I worked with her for a stint. She said the way she lives her life and runs her business are the same. God then her spouse then her children. In that order. Always. I borrowed that tonight as I was talking with Emily. She promptly reminded me the woman was dying of cancer and soon. I agreed that the spin that placed on it changed my decision and as if a lightbulb went on, the husband on the show chose the same. It for sure made me think and wonder. And I am guessing some of you might be thinking also. I mainly wrote this post because it was sticking in my head but I also figured I should give you some brain chowder for my first post back.

Salud

Back On Track

2005-08-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

So I got it. I got the DSL. I got it for less than $15 a month for a year and I didnt pay for the equipment. After being a victim of coffee house and dial up speeds for the last 5 months, I gotta say, FFFFAAAAAAASSSSSTTTTTT!!!! I love it. I can chat real time. I can blog fast too. Not to mention my game playing hours on SOCOM II might bump up just a bit. I am going to try to make it a habit to blog every day when I get in from work so the bored at work crew that reads my blog will have a tidbit every morning to nibble on. Till tomorrow- Go Astros!

I am Working On It

2005-08-08T17:44:00.000-05:00

For those of you hounding for new posts, I am trying to secure an internet connection at our new place and a phone line for that matter. I will be checking email hopefully at least once a week. Drop me a line at paynefish@gmail.com for more info on addresses. Hopefully more to come very soon.

I Miss Them

2005-06-01T21:09:00.000-05:00

Its only been a day but I miss them. I miss her but its him that tugs on me. Dont get me wrong, I like fishing all the time, which is about all I do when they are gone but every time I walk by his crib I miss him a little bit more. They'll be back Friday evening and we'll go get some food and all will be right with the world again.

Here's What Time Gets You

2005-05-25T22:34:00.000-05:00

Give it less than a month and my Tom and Katie post is irrelevant. The screams of my child thorugh the night have been replaced by hours of continuous sleep. The Yankees still stink and I am disappointed at the Astros. But I have another blog for sports (though I rarely post as much as I should.)My brother in law, the blogging one, inspired me a bit today. I told Em that he seems to be in a place I would really like to be. He is really centered. Or at least from a wretch's view he seems to glow a bit. My son is growing like a weed and sprouting about. He also enjoys his meal time with his new friend the Spoon. Some days I rely on him for my joy. The smile is what does it.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!

2005-05-25T10:05:00.000-05:00

Zeke got his first tooth and started on solid foods last night. We knew he had been fussy and now we know why. Pics posting soon. And probably another rededication to blogging.

'Bout Time I Blog

2005-05-03T11:37:00.000-05:00

Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes? Can you feel the brakes slowing the spin of the earth so he will be slightly less old and it might be even a smidgeon closer to acceptable? Didnt think so.

Have you ever thought about the fact you could die any minute? Here is my quandry: Do I eat like I could die tomorrow and enjoy the foods I desire. This could cause me an earlier death but a happier one possibly. OR, do I eat like a rabbit, never enjoy another James Coney Island Cheese Dog and live possibly a little bit longer, perhaps in the idea that IF I dont get hit by a train, die in a plane crash, get impaled by a longhorn steer or some other bizarre twist of fate, I could live a couple of extra years without my taste buds ever realizing their true calling. Comments are welcome.

Zeke, Mommy and Daddy all went to Houston this past weekend and had a great time. We had dinner at Fungs Chinese Kitchen, aka best LIVE seafood in town (meaning they have a choosable aquarium. We had Shipley's Donuts the next day (way better than Krispy Kreme) and watched the Astros come out of their slump which we now believe Zeke is responsible for. He was on the big screen and everyone oohed and ahhed. They went on to score 7 runs that night to win, 9 the next and 10 yesterday. They havent played this well in a while.

He is crying now so I need to go get him. More later.

Its Been a While

2005-04-27T11:42:00.000-05:00

Okay okay okay. I have been neglecting my blog but I was a bit distracted. I bought a new video game a couple of weeks ago. I've been playing it and (sound the trumpets) I finished it last night. The allure is gone. The shiny has worn off. Now, I am back to blogging with no Sirens to lure me away.
I have a great story of a blind woman and a dog named Night that is truly inspiring that will appear in the next couple of days. I will also have a recap of the Astros v Cubbies game I am going to on Saturday night. And I might even tell you about the funny dream I had last night where I was running and passed Charleton Heston running backwards. But alas, work calls so I will have to post just a bit later.

Wanna sell it? Live it.

2005-04-17T21:02:00.000-05:00

I've known it for years but today, it all clicked. If you want to sell something (whether idea or product) you have to be on fire for it. If someone comes into the Best Buy looking for a camcorder, I have to know which one is perfect for their needs, tell them why, reinforce it and then reassure them. Here's the hitch: If you don't burn with confidence about what you're talking about, they won't buy. They flounder. They wonder if you are as confused as they are. Another rule: If you don't know, don't lie. Find the answers, don't guess. Last rule: say thanks, REGARDLESS. People will often ask you for your opinion and just want information. Be that for them with no hard feelings.

More later.

OK, I know; Photos and 25 more

2005-04-14T22:21:00.000-05:00

You can check out some of the new Zeke pics by clicking on the link above or here. I apologize for the lack of posting to my 4 readers. Especially my bored partner in crime at the FDA. More reading material more often is my pledge. Now for 25 more which will make 50 so far.

26 I hate getting up early unless its to go fishing

27 Certain colors appear a different color to me. Some greens are brown and vice versa

28 For the record, I do like pickles

29 I don't like pancakes

30 When I go fishing my average catch is about three fish

31 My best day ever was with John at Perrys where we caught 137.

32 Number 31 was in the pouring rain. We got 7 inches during that two day stretch.

33 I think my mother likes me better than my other siblings

34 33 was just a test to see if she reads this

35 I've never purposefully done a drug

36 I did have a contact buzz once

37 I have never shot a deer with a gun

38 I have many times with a camera

39 I think Nike has overextended its marketing and is starting to make ridiculous business decisions regarding endorsements

40 Shaq is a better player in Miami

41 Elvis shot JFK

42 NASCAR killed Dale Earnhardt as a marketing ploy to unite the redneck nation and eventually secede.

43 Doesnt it seem odd that most of the racetracks are in the south too?

44 Jabba the Hut is not as cool as Pizza the Hut

45 Random thoughts are the little legs on the hamster that keeps the wheel spinning

46 I have been dumped twice

47 I have 11 toes.

48 Not really

49 I have managed to have the same watch and same pair of sunglasses for two years

50 I only studied for one class in college and still graduated with a 3.0

100 Things

2005-04-08T20:54:00.000-05:00

Apparently 100 things from Jeri's blog has a lot of merit so I figure I'll give it a try.

1. My middle name is Brent. Until today, I think less than 10 people in the world knew that.

2. My lucky number is 13

3. My favorite color is blue. Midnight blue to be exact.

4. Only rich kids had the 64 box of crayolas with the sharpener in the back.

5. Steaks are better closer to rare than well.

6. GKB would say closer to live than to medium.

7. Kids are a blessing no matter how much they scream.

8. Some people shouldnt be parents.

9. I love to fish.

10. I fish more days in a month than most people do in a lifetime.

11. I like pizza, but the thinner the better.

12. Hot wings from wingstop can induce labor.

13. Michael J Fox will always be Alex P Keaton to me.

14. I liked MacGyver, Sliders, Quantum Leap and the Fall Guy.

15. Cheers is my favorite show ever and I can answer almost any trivia question about it.

16. Hats are good looking on girls.

17. Ug boots are just that- UG.

18. I want a boat. Two problems there: Lack of money and I drive a Saturn.

19. I am one of three males on the planet who will ask for directions.

20. Santa is real until he doesnt bring you a present.

21. The Easter Bunny lays eggs? Or is that the Cadbury bunny?

22. Though I have only lived in Houston a grand total of 18 months in my life, I root religiously for any team from H-Town.

23. My ultimate dream: A large boat, no bills and all the fishing tackle we could use.

24. My biggest fear: snakes.

25. How many trees have been saved since email was invented?

More later....

How Many Employees Does It Take?

2005-04-04T23:05:00.000-05:00

How many does it take to really make you want to scream. I have been privileged to learn over the last few months that enjoying your job is more important than how much money you make. I see guys where I work that absolutely hate coming to work. They moan about every little thing and complain the day away. My day flies by everyday and as Emily will tell you, I always have a good story of what, though minorly insignificant, touched my heart that day or just made me feel really good. I encourage the guys I work with to find something else to do. Being miserable keeps you and those around you from being happy which translates big time into how much you sell and how well those you DO sell to enjoy their time. I know it didnt take long for me to get to the point tonight but I encourage everyone, if you dont enjoy your job, try to find something about it you can like or else do something else.

Today I Was Floored

2005-03-31T16:53:00.000-06:00

Most days at the BBY I meet very interesting people. They come in all kinds of packages. Size, shape, color, age; it is always different. Sometimes language is different and thats what brought me to the subject for today. I had a gentleman come in today that was about 30 years old, in an electric wheelchair and severley crippled by Cerebal Palsy. It wasnt the sight but the sounds that floored me. This guy was trying to communicate with me through some moaning and guttural noises which I know for a fact he heard clearly. It was the muscles in his face which failed him. I understood about every third or fourth word and we danced around my incoherence for a couple of minutes. He had on a fanny pack and started looking for something to write with. I handed him a piece of paper and a pen. He struggled with the pen for a minute and then to my surprise penned "XBOX" on the sheet of paper. Extremely legible too. I gazed at the paper and realized he had better handwriting than I did. Though he labored for words through his lips, he could write well tohugh I could tell it was tiring for him. What really floored me as we began to talk and write was that he preferred talking. Not only that, he kept apologizing. I am not sure if he was sorry that he wasnt more technically savvy or that he thought he wasnt speaking clearly
enough for me. It really touched me and hurt at the same time. I would say "No, No, No" and try to let him know that I felt bad for not understanding. I stuck it out and unfortunately wasnt able to give him a solution that he wanted to pay for. He had an XBox and wanted to play live online but he didnt have highspeed and didnt want to fork over the $25+ to play it per month for DSL or Cable. I didnt blame him. I felt a bit ashamed as we parted ways or maybe just sadness I wasnt able to understand him as clearly as what I wanted. What really helped me out was a few minutes later when I saw him in the store and he smiled and attempted a wave. I went over and we chatted as best we could. I felt a lot better. It opened my eyes to other types of discrimination yet once again. How many guys would have talked to him? How many would have taken the time to find out what he needed? How many times has he been unhelped and ungreeted? I hope not again but realistically, probably a lot more.

Sleep, Commercials and the Movie to Miss

2005-03-30T22:25:00.000-06:00

My schedule is off. His schedule is off. Her schedule is off. My work schedule is mornings, evenings, midday, it just really depends on the mood they are in I think. I try to sleep. Emily would say I do because I am in the bed for hours, usually about 9 but what she and everyone else fails to realize is that I really am a pretty light sleeper. I can use a watch as an alarm clock. I know when the dogs down the street are barking much less my dogs. He screams through the night now. I pretty much bury my head and try to ignore it but it still persists. She tries to wake me up and I pretend I am sleeping like a log. I guess I just let the cat out of the bag but at this point I dont care because even when I dont get him, I am still awake. He needs to sleep. He has to. I dont know a human that survives on less sleep than he does. I guess time will tell about that. Not much else is going on. We had lunch with GKBs 'rents which was a fun experience. They havent seen all the commercials we all have (being from South Africa and all)[thats a country, not a generalized part of a continent]. Its fun to talk about the joy of a commercial now and again. I think most of us have grown to loathe them so much we fail to enjoy it like a new sitcom or crime drama/hospital show when the new ones do come on. Apparently I look like the guy from the Sonic commercials. I have had three people lately tell me I look like the passenger. I dont know how accurate or flattering that is but he makes more money than I do so Thank You Very Much! Hopefully more later. I will be batching it Friday night with GKB so if'n I find $10 for a movie, I'll send a review. This weeks movie review is of Constantine starring, if you can call it that, Keanu Reeves. This movie is a Comic Book version of Catholicism as GKB put it. Lots of special effects but a story line that is a bit far fetched, including a feminie Arch angel Gabriel who looks more like Gabrielle. It might have been Anne Heche. But the whole thing is more like Ghostbusters Go to Hell than an extension of a story of faith. Does the good guy win? I am not gonna tell you. But I would look on a spoiler sight and save your eight bucks. Constantine-a movie to miss.

Out to Get Me and A Movie Review

2005-03-13T20:56:00.000-06:00

Every so often something happens that reminds me that I am not in control of my world as much as I like to think I am. Such an occurrence happened on Saturday morning. The three Payne guys (of fishing age) finished loading the essentials for our outing around 6AM and started toward the lake without knowing what lay in store. We told jokes about girls and Aggies and polar bears and sipped coffee almost too strong for human consumption. Nearly an hour later we were paying the entrance fee and rolling toward the boat ramp for a day of fishing enjoyment and genuine male bonding. While I am on the subject, it’s not male bonding unless everyone present knows it is happening AND no one talks about it. OK, back to the boat ramp--- We back the boat down and hop out to remove the restraints and I just happen to ask my brother if he remembered his fishing license. “No actually I didn’t,” he says. Then my dad pipes in, “You know, I don’t have mine either.” Oh crap for crap! I say that because I have seen many occasions of people getting there fishing gear taken because they are fishing without license. I don’t “roll” that way. That’s why I don’t take just a whole lot of people fishing with me. Most of them don’t want to fork out the $30 for a license. I think my dad sensed my frustration and he told me to take the boat out and they would be back in about 20 minutes. I guess that pacified me for a few minutes. I tooled around the area with the trolling motor and noticed problem number two. The trolling motor battery-she no worky. That’s not good. Problem number three cropped up shortly later as we found a short in the big motor’s wiring upon my dad and brothers return. Oh crap for crap! I say that now because I think the fishing gods were out to get me. I think they know I am at the top of my game. I am 27 and everyone knows that 27 is the prime age for male athletes. Especially in baseball and fishing. My dad, again trying to console my frustrated look, throws out a few options, both of which we tried and both of which also ended in frustration. You cant fault a guy for trying. And for the first time in probably 15 years, we were headed home from the lake before noon. We feasted on a bounty of summer sausage and cheddar on the way home and joked about the day. Some days are just not meant to happen as scripted. Sometimes the improv of the universe takes over just to see how you react. I think I handled it perfectly fine. I went home, took an nap, took a shower, went to BBY in LBB, ate some brisket, went to see Be Cool (more on that in a second) and had a perfectly good Taco Villa burrito and the World’s Best Dr. Pepper. So all in all, not a bad day.

OK now to the movie. I loved this movie. John Travolta is so believable as Chili Palmer. He isn’t afraid of anyone, just curious why everyone wants him dead. Vince Vaughn and the Rock play a wanna be Pimp who thinks he’s black and a rather large homosexual cowboy bodyguard who wants to be in the movies, respectively. Let me tell you, when he does his monologue from “Bring It On” for Chili, I about wet myself. And Elliot’s (The Rock) one real talent is the eyebrow raise. Irony doesn’t even begin to describe that. Cedric the Entertainer provides a very Carlton-esque character as an Ivy League Grad who is a record producer for the hardcore gangster DubMD’s, short for the Weapons of Mass Destruction. Can you imagine Carlton from the Fresh Prince managing the WuTang Clan or G-Unit? I wont give away any plot turns but let me just mention that there are Russians who run a pawn shop and a hot Uma Thurman who has clever choices of wardrobe after the first scene of the movie. The critics hated this movie giving it horrid reviews and loved the Pacifier with Vin Diesel. I’ve seen both and I would see Be Cool again before I would see Mr. Nanny, I mean the Pacifier. On a scale of 5 Mega Warhead Sour Grubs, I give Be Cool a resounding 4.5 which is based solely on entertainment value. Maybe I should do a movie review every now and again. I think the Mega Warhead Sour Grub Scale could really catch on.

Thinking of Something Clever-Like

2005-03-07T23:35:00.000-06:00

I realize my writing has been slack as of late and I apologize. It seems the more I work, the more I want to crawl into my hovel of covers and pass through the night unbothered. It never happens that way but I would like it to some day. I generally get about two days off a week. One of them is always filled with honey do's and the other is, well, never long enough. And now I see that my weekends have fallen hostage to my job. But this weekend, my first and possibly last unscheduled Saturday off, will be put to great use.
I will wake up about 4:30am, join my dad for a cup of coffee and drive to Lake Alan Henry. We will spend most of the day talking about the past, present and future and try to catch a few fish in between. I miss being able to do that more. I used to have more time but now, now I have Dad Time. 1/4 of the time it used to be and much different priorities. I guess I am in a state of Limbo until Little Z can tote his own tackle box. That will be a great day when three generations can enjoy the pasttime that has more or less formed our family. Fishing is how we vent, bond, grieve, celebrate and return to our more primitive roots. No cavemen grunts here but some grand ole nature appreciation. Its a good thing.

The Office Xerox

2005-03-03T22:01:00.000-06:00

I wrote a few weeks ago about how NBC was adapting the BBC hit “The Office” for American audiences. I write tonight to say may excitement is waning and my cynicism is growing. I have seen clips, snippets and teasers for the new show. Xerox is a better name for it. Many of the gags such as the stapler in the JELLO have appeared in the American version too. The same dialog with the American twist is evident. It causes me to wonder about a lot of things so I am off to do a bit of research.

(Pause for about ten minutes)

I went during that pause to the site on NBC.com and watched the brief clips. I recognized everyone of them. Some of them are pretty much exactly as BBC made them and some are slightly varied but regardless, we are dealing with a clone. Shoot fire! I hate that. (Read in your best Yosemite Sam voice). I think I will watch the first couple of shows and see how it strikes me. It might be like watching Cheers reruns which is not a bad thing or it could be like watching Roseanne reruns which is a horrible chalkboard scratching event.

On a completely unrelated note, my kiddo is getting huge now and I posted some new pics. http://photos.yahoo.com/zekecpayne

Tip it the other way, the fish are starting to bite just a bit. Real slow but the panfish have started spawning at the POND. About two more weeks and it will be on.

More later.

Can You Be Addicted To Your Job?

2005-03-03T00:10:00.000-06:00

Its an honest question. This week I scored Monday and Wednesday off and I realized tonight as I sit here, I went in to check on things and chat with my new posse on both days. I actually sold a $400 camera and another $400 in accessories tonight just answering a simple question for a posse member who flagged me down. I love selling non commission style. Its a lot like my other "addiction" according to Emily- playing Poker online. I dont play with real money so its all the thrill with none of the financial calamity. Thats exactly how it feels selling at the BBY. Lots of fun and no financial ruin looming just over the horizon. Ask anyone, I was there looking at that dragon just a few months ago. Wont make that mistake again.

I logged almost 55 hrs at the store last week, and I have quite a few this week. I dont mind the OT one bit. Speaking of hours, I have to be there in like 7 so I better get some sleepy time bed rest minutes. Peace out homies and may my peeps sleep well- TRANSLATION------- Good night.

Memories and Scrapbooks Full of Fish

2005-02-22T22:05:00.000-06:00

Most of the women I know are into scrapbooking. They take pictures of everything and catalog it for the rest of the world with estrogen to admire and the warriors of testosterone to lug around every time you need to move stuff or you move houses. With the new baby and all I have been exposed to this phenomenon. It causes me to ask myself often, ok maybe twice, what I would put in my scrapbook. Would I make it a warning scrapbook to my offspring? (Side note: does that sound plural to anyone else?) Would it be strictly life accomplishments? What would yours be?

I think mine would be a smattering of awful experiences, joyful triumphs, lessons learned and a lot of pictures of fish. I feel like every part of my life runs parallel with a picture from some fishing trip and most usually some ex-girlfriend who didnt understand my need to fish.

My sharks picture reminds me of a struggling time. The sharks were a moment of triumph in a sea of turmoil. I was writing for the newspaper and transitioning from one long term girlfriend to a short lived one. It was confusing. The old girl was right for me in a lot of ways but I was too young to appreciate it and we had way fewer problems than good times but boys are dumb. I think God had bigger plans in the works. I would call it devine intervention I caught sharks at all that day after hours of seasickness. God was pretty familiar with fisherman and rough seas after all.

My Lake Fork pictures remind me of singledom. Most times I took those trips in search for the big bass, I was single except for my Saturday night pity dates from the girl who ratted me out a bit ago and a puppy named Annabelle.

My crappie picture with Mark reminds me of fishing 5 days a week and spending more on bobbers and minnows than on actual food. There are lots of good things associated with those dorm years. ......Now that I think about it, a lot of bad smells. How did we live like that?

My striper picture reminds me of fishing three spring breaks in a row with Papa. We would take a week and fish three or four lakes for five or six days. We did that for three years and some great fishing can relieve any aches your heart might have.

For a long time in my life, I didnt have a picture of myself without a fish. I thank my dad and granparents for that. There are two paths a boy in rural Nolan County can take growing up. He can hunt and fish or he can drink and get in trouble. My family knew the discipline and enjoyment that could come from fishing and hunting and I am very glad they did.

For any of you looking to fish more, call me up or email me. I need to go.

Promisese Promises. Get Off My Back

2005-02-17T23:48:00.000-06:00

I know I promised pictures. I cant meet that tonight. I am dead tired and need to get some sleep. I have a few emails to return then off to the bed. I will try my hardest to get them up maybe in the morning. Sorry.

Did you hear the one about the polar bear?

2005-02-15T23:43:00.000-06:00

Things I thought about today caused me to wonder if everyone thinks about the same type of stuff I do. A lot of random thoughts flow through my head through a day and trust me when I say random. These dudes will cause you to scratch that cranium as you ponder if you know the real me.

#1 I have heard it said you cant kiss your elbow. I can get pretty darned close. Can a contortionist, who is 95% more flexible than me, the anti-gumby, do it? Did you just try it?

#2 Why do people hear on average (according to the CP Research Co.) 4000 jokes a year and are lucky to remember 2? Me personally, I have 1 joke. The polar bear joke. If you havent heard it, ask me, I'll tell you. If you don't laugh, you will probably.....never ask me for another joke again.

#3 If I have $400 dollars and invest it in a stock or bond, given a certain amount of interest I can turn it into $3,000 over thirty years. If I do the same with Social Security, I owe $350 after 30 years. So why cant we all just rollover our SS monies and start making money? I think it has to do with the fact that the government has already spent our money and cant give it back quite yet. Odd, because if my tax refund check is $100 and two months down the road, they discover there was a mistake and I owe $100, regardless of if I have already spent the money, they now want their $200 NOW! I might start a partition. If it aint broke dont fix it. It you've tried to fix it for twenty years, get a new one.

#4 If I get a Best Buy credit card, it'll be maxed out in 3.2 seconds.

#5 If you get a Best Buy card, I'll help you buy me presents.

#6 Guys will buy anything from a cute girl but rarely buy from a guy we consider better looking than us.

#7 Two jobs is about one too many in hours and three too short in pay.

#8 As a shout out to Mr T, I saw the Extreme Makeover Home Edition Reunion show on Sunday. He looked a bit silly but patriotic in his American Flag Hammer Pants but showed his gold, not on his neck but in his heart. This guy really wanted to help out this family and went way out of the way to help a child. No bling on his neck. No plug for his latest show. Just a guy with a heart who probably had more fun things to do but chose to help. I think I like him more now than I did in the 80s and thats saying a lot. Just ask my mom. I even had the cereal and watched the cartoon religiously. He had American Flag clothes on that show too. And a dog with a mohawk. Sweet.

#9 Why do most lists have 10 items? Mine wont. Top ten this, 10 this 10 blah blah blah. I want to see the top 27 list of best reasons to avoid quiche.

Thats it for today. I'll have some pictures tomorrow evening. Included in that post will be: Papa, Annabelle, Cameryn, Z and some windmills. The new ones.Windmills that is.

Old friends who dont care about what your dog ruined.

2005-02-09T22:49:00.000-06:00

Its amazing. You can know someone for a really long time and even when they move away, you still feel an unspoken bond. One of these friends I lived with for three years. We were inseperable except for Friday and Saturday nights from about 6PM to 1 AM. Date nights you know. We never really talked about it but I knew if we were at the lake on Saturday at 5:25 and he had a girlfriend, I should start packing up. I knew him better than I knew myself at times. By the way, if for some off chance you are reading this, Patty at Box Office says hi.

Time took its toll and in a weird twist of fate, he got married. I should have seen it coming. We had lots of dates in college and the committment bug was bound to catch up to one of us. It got him first. I got a dog. As soon as she came into his life, he didnt have to tell me he would be spending less time fishing with me and more time watching movies with her. I knew. He knew I knew. We still had lunch together now and again but for the most part, I was the guy who was there when he needed me. I think grand total I was called upon maybe three times but I did it gladly. He was my brother just a month younger than me with a different last name. He never did make me pay him for a guitar that my dog ruined. (Think handle bar of a bike through the body of his guitar.) He was and is a great friend and I miss him more now that he is farther west than I am. But he knows if for some reason he needed me, he could call and I would drive. We dont talk much, maybe once every couple of months or so. We talk about taking a fishing trip somewhere but we still haven't. We will. Someday.

It makes me want to drive out and go see them. It reminds me of what was and what should be but isnt because I choose to be busy. I choose to work more than play and email less than I should. But today, I hope to change that. Today I pledge to take life a couple of steps slower. I owe it to my old friends and the new ones. In the morning, I will enjoy more clouds and complain a bit less. In the afternoon I'll take just a minute to listen to a bird. In the evenings, I'll email and call more. Maybe we should all do things just one step slower. It wont do anything but let you, your God and your loved ones know you appreciate them more by taking just a minute. Dont we owe it to them?

Thanks Mark.

Hotel Rwanda, Ghosts of Rwanda and My Distaste for Government

2005-02-07T22:46:00.000-06:00

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to see what was one of the most eye opening movies I have ever seen. Hotel Rwanda. Starring Don Cheadle. I am moved.

Imagine if you will(cue the twilight zone music) a calm Saturday morning. I am out running with the dogs, my wife and son are in the house enjoying their respective breakfasts. I hear what I think is a car back firing and then realize their is too much frequency for it not to be gunfire. A loud explosion booms close by and smoke is quickly filling the sky. Chaos has broken out. I sprint home as fast as I can, praying everything is ok. As I near my house my fears are coming true as my house as well as several neighbors houses are on fire. People are in the streets, scared weeping, wailing and some dead. I frantically hurry to my curb and look for my wife and son. Jennifer from down the block finds me and says through the tears they are dead. I scream and through the agony manage to ask why. She says because the government has decided to kill all people with small ears. Chuckle a bit here and lets get back to it. You chuckle because it seems absurd but that is exactly how obscenely absurd the scenes in Hotel Rwanda and now Ghosts of Rwanda, seem to me. How could someone kill their neighbor because they are taller or have a smaller nose or are a hint less pigmented? How can a country boy now a bit more citified wrap his pampered brain around ethnic cleansing. I am not Jewish nor German so I dont fully understand the angst and anger of those peoples. I am not 70+ years old so I have no ill will towards the Japanese. I dont have those feelings about Koreans or Vietnamese or any other group of people who happen to live outside the borders of the 50 Great.

The backstory of this movie greatly simplified is this, the Smiths were in power over the Jones's for quite a while. The Jones's got power one day and decided they wanted to get rid of the Smiths. The only real way to tell who is who, is by your drivers license. Wrong name on the DL, they cut you up with machetes. Kid, Woman, Pregnant Woman, Man, didnt matter. The bad part was, the government looked the other way while this extremist group did it, and more or less encouraged it. A small force of UN soldiers, if allowed to could have saved between 800K and 1.2M lives. A small force, on the ground in Rwanda which had its hands tied the whole time by governments of countries who were either A) afraid of another Mogadishu [Blackhawk Down ring a bell?] or B) didnt want to invest a few lives to save a race of people who could offer them nothing. The only two countries I give ANY slack to are Canada, because Gen Dallier, the UN general who refused to leave is from there and Guinea, who fought valiantly regardless of the pressure to leave after Belgium lost 10 troops to kidnapping and murder. The US could have fixed this in 24 hours. President Clinton was more interested in saving face so he could someday build a library then helping out a country stricken by segregation of a common people. Translation: Even though everyone is the same color, a small feature such as nose or height can cause the segregation.

Anger. I had to start a new paragraph because I am getting angry just thinking about this again. Helping those who need our help. That should be the American way. Though I hate to admit it, our foreign policy looks more like, Help those who give us oil.
We go to places like Somalia and Bosnia but catch hell from the rest of the world and apparently need approval from our "friends" before we do it. BULL *(#*$&#. We have more X, bigger X, faster X, better X than EVERYONE. We should help first, ask questions later. What happened to compassion? Why do rock stars and kids at school give more money in Tsunami relief than the US government? Who do we owe 3 trillion dollars to? I say call up all the people we owe moeny to and who owe us money and call it even. If you dont have it in the bank, dont spend it. The US has become the NORM of Cheers. We run up a tab and never pay it. Do you know why a jet costs 40 million dollars to build? Because its a government job. If that wasnt a government contract and it was made in Detroit, 2M tops. \ Back to Rwanda

These people were only segregated by a stamp. Hutus (Smiths) married Tutsis (Jones's) and everything was great until one group of extremists counted on the fact that no one else cared about Rwanda so they could kill whoever they wanted. You know what? I care. And I will always care about the underdogs who get no love because they have nothing to offer but love, compassion and friendship. They should be our allies. When is the last time someone who you asked nothing of but respect and friendship, stabbed you in the back? We should leave the UN and make our own damn decisions. I apologize for the word there but I am angry and I doubt kids have read this far down if they read this at all. Grow up USA. Flex your muscle to protect the little guy who has no lunch money to offer, who wears older clothes than you and really doesnt have a need for plasma tv. Reality check guys and girls.

Hotel Rwanda- a must see.

Update on Diva Owner and Dismissed McElhiney

2005-02-03T20:45:00.000-06:00

I saw on ESPN today that the Rhythm have reinstated the previously stricken Ashley McElhiney. Welcome back! Or maybe we should say, You're Hired!!! Apparently they lost a couple of games when she was gone and won the game tonight. Hmmm. Can anyone say job security? Turns out the other two owners werent impressed with the foul press that Sally Anthony was causing them (and probably caught wind of possible law suits). Good for you Ashley Mac.

In the meantime, here's a link

2005-02-02T15:31:00.000-06:00

For those of you who havent met the scariest children's toy in the world, here it is:

Here is the interactive website (designed while on ACID!!!) Link

I met one of these in Toys R US and about wet myself. If it werent primary colored, it would be even scarier.

Ashley McElhiney, YOU'RE FIRED! And the team owner has applied for diva status.

2005-02-01T10:32:00.000-06:00

For those of you wondering, Ashley McElhiney was the first female coach of a men's professional team in the United States. She was hired by the Nashville Rhythm of the ABA. (That's the reborn American Basketball Association). Apparently the Rhythm had acquired a recently released NBA player from the Hornets, Matt Freije. Seemed like a great idea? The gave him a two game contract for $10,000. If you hire a guy for two games, he should play, right? Well, apparently Rhythm owner and CEO Sally Anthony, (who, catch this, is also a recording artist on her own label with her own band) didnt want him to play.

Anthony was quoted as saying, "I called my coach a couple of hours before the game and said, 'I don't want him playing. She ignored me. I walked onto the court and said I'm her boss and she needed to bench him."

When McElhiney said no, a scene erupted as she fired the coach on the spot. To further increase her street cred with divas everywhere, Anthony then went on to tell a newspaper reporter she would fold the team if players disagreed.

"If they're willing to stick their neck out for Ashley, and that would be dumb, I would fold the team right now," she said. "If I say no it should be no. She's done. She's fired."

Players seemed shocked at the idea that this would happen but no reports of quitting or boycotting the rest of the season have surfaced. It seems that a coach firing mid-year might happen if a team were losing but McElhiney's team had posted a record of 17-7 and won the game she was fired during to complete her career coaching men's sports at 18-7. So far.

The 23 year old McElhiney, a Vanderbilt basketball star and record holder, has not yet spoken publicly about the incident but undoubtedly, her telephone is ringing off the hook from college ADs looking for a new head coach.

A final note to Sally Anthony: You are an idiot and you just showed the entire world. Congratulations.

Balloon Heads All Around

2005-01-27T21:44:00.000-06:00

Sickness. I don't know where I got it (actually I think I do but it won't do to name names), but it is killing me. I am taking 4 meds just to try to be able to walk around and do some work. Wouldnt you know the day its worst, is the day I have 72 appointments and a 29 hour work day. Tomorrow we are supposed to go to LBB to see the 'rents and let them play with the little one. If I dont feel better, they may have to come see ME. It seems most of the people I talked to today have been a bit balloon headed. The one exception is the always zipping around Dana. She must have the immune system of a tortoise. ( I am going to guess they have a good immune system since they live so long.) It probably doesnt hurt that her significant other is a doctor of the healing kind.
I am going to find some anti-helium for my head and go to bed.

Link Updates: Added Jerilyn.

The Dodgers are trying to buy the NL

2005-01-26T21:14:00.000-06:00

The link is a page of free agents , where they were, are going, and how much cash they get to move zip codes. I took what the guys leaving were awarded (so far 83.1Mill) and then looked at what they have paid to keep guys or bring new ones in (144Mill) and my oh my. It looks as if the Yankees are not the only ones with deep pockets. The Yankees let go about 33.5 Mill and acquired
about 62 Mill.

What is going on in Dodger Land? Are we looking at the birth of a new Yankees Style Spendthrift Approach on the West Coast? For some reason, I dont really think so. The Dodgers had some talent last year that was underpaid and they decided to develop and deshevel rather than pay for it. Instead they paid for OPT (other peoples talent). I believe deep in my heart of hearts that this is a once every five years type spenditure. We shall see.

As far as the Astros are concerned, the numbers just for fun are : Leaving - 137 Mill (mostly thanks to Beltran). Coming in- about 21 Mill (mostly Clemens).

What about salary spending ? Here are the 2004 numbers:

MLB TEAM	PAYROLL (US$)
1. NY Yankees	183,335,513
2. Boston	125,208,542
3. Anaheim	101,909,667
4. NY Mets	95,754,304
5. Philadelphia	93,219,167
6. Chicago Cubs	91,101,667
7. Los Angeles	89,694,343
8. Atlanta	88,507,788
9. San Francisco	82,019,166
10. St. Louis	81,008,517
11. Seattle	78,483,834
12. Houston	74,666,303
13. Arizona	70,204,984
14. Colorado	68,610,403
15. Chicago Sox	68,262,500
16. San Diego	63,689,503
17. Texas	59,845,973
18. Oakland	59,825,167
19. Minnesota	53,585,000
20. Toronto	50,017,000
21. Detroit	49,828,554
22. Baltimore	49,212,653
23. Kansas City	47,609,000
24. Washington	43,197,500
25. Cincinnati	42,722,858
26. Florida	42,118,042
27. Pittsburgh	40,227,929
28. Cleveland	34,569,300
29. Tampa Bay	28,706,667
30. Milwaukee	27,518,500

So according to some rough calculations, the Dodgers will have about a 150 Million Dollar Payroll. That would jump them up from 7th to 2nd! Wow. Just a thought.

Cutting to the Chase (Bank)

2005-01-25T20:40:00.000-06:00

Is it really free overdraft protection if they charge you $25 per overdraft? I think not. I am making a stand against financial institutions that advertise to you one way and then treat you another. I am going to balance my checkbook so often, they will never make a penny off of me. I am going to my friendly credit union for car loans. And as for a home loan.... well I dont own a house yet so I will deal with that when I come to it. But I really hate that. The bait and switch. It's one business after another. One of my ex employers did that. Now I am my own boss. And I make more money. It's always about the money. Why is that? If I could live off of the land somewhere (which you can't do in the states) I would. I can hunt, fish, chop wood and build shelter. With a few ammenities, it would cost less than $200 a year to live. How cool would that be. I could make the $200 selling the furs of animals or fish or something. Just a thought.

Aging with Love and Instant Gratification at Birth

2005-01-24T17:00:00.000-06:00

When I was a young buck, 13 or 14, and thought I was in love for the first time, (yeah right), I read a poem on a cheesy wall plaque somewhere that has always stuck with me. I have wondered for a long time whether or not it is true. Now I have my answer. The answer is so obvious now, but then, it eluded me like a White Russian stag in Narnia.
The saying or poem was:

"If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever."

After Googling for it, I discovered the author of this was Doug Horton. The idea of this quote is totally preposterous. Ridiculous, even ludicrous. Since the arrival of my son Zeke I have learned more about love than in all my previous 27 years combined. If you love something, or someone, hold it tight. Never let it go unless it asks and desires to be set free. Then, hold on with your heart but let go with your arms. I would never send anyone I loved away to TEST their love. Never. Good intentions or not, this started a cycle of wonder for me about Mr. Horton. Did he ever have kids? Was he scorned by a woman and wanted to write something uplifting to himself or where in the world did this quote come from? So I did a little research.

After about an hour of googling and checking encyclopedia.com, I couldnt find a word about the life of Mr. Horton. It is somewhat satisfying because it allows me to paint any mask on him I wish. I bet he was scorned. I bet he was childless. Other than the terrible twos and teen years perhaps, why would any parent or spouse, want to let their loved one go? Bizarre is just the tip of the iceberg. As always, your comments are welcome.

The BBC and all my hope and dreams

2005-01-22T13:55:00.000-06:00

Ok, so. Greg and I were introduced in December to a BBC show called "The Office." I was sucked in immediately and then spit right back out when Scott, the introducer, told us they only made two seasons. Recently they put out a Christmas Special Reunion type of thing but none the less, it was sad to know I had seen every episode. While I wait for the BBC to fire it up again (which will never happen because they wrapped up all the loose ends in the Christmas Special), the next best thing is coming. Link. It seems NBC, struggling as it is nowadays, is going to make an American version of "The Office." Here is the slice:

The struggling network is placing its bets on a fourth "Law & Order" spinoff, the boxing series "The Contender" and a remake of the British hit "The Office," which will all premiere in March, NBC's top executives said Friday.

Will it go the way of Wildly succesful British spinoffs like Trading Spaces or more like the previous attempt by ABC to redo an American version of "Coupling"? I have to say, I am anxious to see who the new Dawn and Gareth and David Brent types will be. Stay tuned for more.

If you live here in ABI, the Library has the first season on DVD that you can rent. If you dont want to go that route, you can buy all of the episodes at Amazon for less than $50. Link.

And if any of you know of another diamond in the ruff type show like "The Office", I'd appreciate a heads up.

Seacrest, Out...............of the closet.

Making the Commitment

2005-01-20T22:11:00.000-06:00

$50. Thats what it costs to get a six pack. Not Coors or Becks or Labatt Blue but Vanity. It is the sweetest of the brews. Here is the problem. You have to be totally dedicated to get it and its only on advance order. If you dont think about it everyday, with every drive by of McD's and Chicken Express, you wont get it even though you paid for it.

I joined the North Exercise Room at ACU today. Greg promises he'll be my buddy and keep me honest by lifting the massive iron with me. 3 or 4 days a week. I am also not quite giving up on the running. Tomorrow I am going to jog a mile. Not run, fly or speed through and I am not taking my watch. I dont think its a good idea for a tubby like myself to get so self conscious right off the bat. I am going to jog, just a little faster than a fast walk. I am not going to look at my time. I am going to lurk in the pool a bit more too. Actually, I havent swam since last summer and that was more bobbing like a cork on a fishing line than Olympic style speed laps. Forget you Michael Phelps. Go swim back to Greece. Jealous Much? Yes I am.

Just a few quick questions and answers IMHO (In my humble opinion).

Is Roger Clemens worth 22Mill?
Yes. 18-4 last year and further in the playoffs than ever. You got rid of the dead wood in Kent and Beltran chased the bucks. If you can get him for 16Mill, its a steal.

Will anyone pick the Steelers for this weekends game?
Looks like just me. Sure Corey Dillon is good but NO ONE is that good. Pittsburgh is #1 in Rushing Yards Per Game at 81.2. New England is #6 at 98.3. Hmmm. Passing Defense you say?
Pittsburgh is #4 with 191.3. New England is #19 at 231.9. NOT EVEN CLOSE!! Total Defense is #1 Pitt, #9 NE. Yet aparently, the first time in a long time last week, Pittsburgh had a few slips. And because of that, New England and that freakish Matt Damon look-a-like, are now favored by most polls. Ridiculous. Rookie quarterback you say? He already beat New England and Philadelphia. New England didnt have Corey Dillon but So Freaking What. What will 80 yards get them. Nothing. And the Eagles had Terrell Owens and still only managed 3 points and a whopping 109 passing yards. I feel like I am the only loyal Steelers fan outside of Penn.

For the record on my teams. You can ask my friends, I am not bandwagon. I suffered through a lot of bad years with some of my teams and this year seems to be a good year for most. I allow myself two teams in each sport at each level. Here are my teams:

College Football: Texas Tech, Auburn
College Basketball: Texas Tech, Kentucky
College Baseball: Texas Tech, Pepperdine
NFL: Pittsburgh, Houston
NBA: Rockets and well, thats it.
MLB: Astros, Red Sox

Print it out and remember it well. Thats all for now folks.

Running Like Molasses

2005-01-18T22:06:00.000-06:00

Continuing on from yesterdays diet and exercise post, I talked to Greg today. He said no way. He cited ailments such as a bad knee, asthma and maybe a couple of other things. I let him off the hook earlier than normal. Maybe part of me suffers from ailments I pretend arent there and he is a better man for knowing his weaknesses. Or maybe its because I called from an office which wasnt my own and had other business to discuss with him. Skip forward two hours.

I laced them up. The Adidas Response shoes I have abused for the last three or four months would have to suffice for Day One. My Runners World Training Plan said rest on Monday, 1.5 miles on Tuesday so I figured, no time like the present. I drove to Elmer Gray Stadium/Track/Field and approached the soft running surface. I barely noticed the wind blowing; it was the 45 degree weather I was more concerned with. That first step on the track sent thoughts of nostalgia and rememberance through my mind. I recalled, although it briefly, all the track stars who had run here on the hill. I pulled down my sleeves on my blue Polar Tec jacket and wished my red running shorts were red running pants. The adrenaline raced as I switched the mode to chrono on my Iron Man watch and pushed the start button. I was off fast, really fast for a tire toting almost thirty who hasnt run in 3 years. I turned the last corner into the straightaway and looked at my watch, 43 seconds. HOLY MOSES! Just then, the wind which was at my back just 20 seconds ago hits me in the full stride. I finish the first lap, moving onto the second in 1:03. I allow myself to think about how fast I am and how the pounds were going to melt off. Unfortunately a large boa constrictor surprised me from behind and then a monkey jumped on my back. He wasnt a nice monkey. He started shoveling ice down my throat causing me to gasp and almost come to a complete stop. I keep pounding through but the weight of the two hitchikers and the unpleasantness of the cold are wearing on me. I barely finish lap two and stop my chrono at 3:42.
I crawl back to my car defeated and drive home coughing and wheezing the whole way. I sat in the tub and ran the shower as hot as I could for 20 minutes before I could breathe normally again. I hate running. I think I might have cold induced asthma.

So I sit here in my red running shorts, defeated and torn. I need to be healthy but surely there are better ways. Any suggestions?

I would run more if I could do it at home, in my bed......while I sleep.

Here it is, the newest diet.

2005-01-18T01:08:00.000-06:00

My excuses are dwindling. Emily will be able to exercise next week. The six weeks of "take it easy" will be more or less over and training for our first 5K will begin. It will be hard. She is doing it because she loves to run. I don't know if the cold air causes her senility or if she is just cut from a different cloth (like spandex or that stuff they make Under Armour out of). I am doing it because of vanity. Lets be honest. I have a six pack. Its hidden under a layer of belly fat but I swear to you its there. I wanted to diet it away but that will take a lot of time. The quickest way is to diet AND to exercise. The best way to burn calories fast is running. I would rather swim but you have to work out twice as long to burn the same calories. With a new baby, every second counts. We will be working out seperately at first. I am going to try to convince my right hand man Greg to do this. Chances are this blog posting is the first he's hearing of the running part.
As far as the diet is concerned, we call it the Grits diet. I hate Grits. Most of what my new diet entails is all the stuff I hate. Its lots of food but oh how bad it sucks. Lets be honest. If I were meant to eat celery all day and drink water by the gallon I would have been born in a small hole near a big lake with long ears and a fuzzy cotton tail. But my vanity for now wins. Its like Halloween. Its about 8 weeks from opening what you hope is an awesome gift you have always wanted and been lobbying for all fall. Vanity. We'll see what happens. This will be a black op mission. If I fail, I will disavow any knowledge of this diet or exercise routine.

"Vanity dies hard; in some obstinate cases it outlives the man. "
-Robert Louis Stevenson in Prince Otto

Grand Opening

2005-01-17T22:31:00.000-06:00

Come one, come all! This is the grand opening of a non specific blog for me to rant and rave, love and loathe. My first thought comes out of a time of recent loss.

Our church has lost a member and came very close to losing others in a traffic accident this weekend. I actually knew three of the kids who were in the accident. My wife knew the child who didnt make it. For those of you wanting all the details, here is the blurb from KTXS.

Four still critical in church van accident
ABILENE -- A ten year old Abilene boy is dead and three others are struggling to survive after a car crash Sunday involving a church youth group. The group, from Highland Church of Christ, was traveling to Abilene from a weekend youth conference in Dallas. Authorities say the driver of the GMC SUV swerved into the median, overcorrected, and rolled the vehicle. 10-year-old Brody Bourland was pronounced dead at the scene. The driver of the vehicle, 49-year-old Julie Folwell was transported to Covenant Medical Center in Lubbock with back injuries. She is currently listed in critical but stable condition. Three of the children were taken to Cook Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth. They include 12-year-old Chris Cope, the son of Highland's senior pastor. Chris is listed in critical condition along with John Bennett and Austin Lemmons, who are both eleven. 14-year-old Amara Childers is being treated at Hendrick Medical Center listed in good condition. Two others, Beth Johnston, and Chris Perkins have already been treated and released.
Funeral Wednesday
Services for Brody Bourland will be held Wednesday at 1 PM at Highland Church of Christ. Visitation will be held Tuesday from 6 to 8 PM at Elliot-Hamil Funeral Home.

A few things come to mind in this situation.

Mike came close to losing another child on the same day he said a blessing over my only child at church. My heart weeps for him. My imagination, which is often such a source of daydreaming, scares me right now. I don't want to do anything at times but hold my son tight in my arms and think of how to protect him. Reality bites. I can't protect him as much as I want. In time, things will loosen, I will relax. It sickens me to think this is exactly how I felt after 9/11 about the lack of control we actually have.

People say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. They never ask if I have any sugar.